Furniture Overhauls

While watching the N-th discount furniture store commercial of my lifetime, I realized that I hate furniture shopping. That's a lie, I didn't realize anything; it's something everyone intrinsically knows. At birth. The sales guy is always ready to jump up your butt if you even bat an eyelash at a sofa or make a sarcastic comment about how much you love that pattern when really one of those "artworks" made by the guy who gives himself paint enemas would make better upholstery. All beside the point.

What should happen:

All of the furniture is setup in a giant warehouse. The entrance door locks behind you. All of the furniture is stacked 5 units high on some sort of massively industrial shelving unit (so that you can't jump over them). Well, the moral of the story here is that the whole thing is a giant maze .

(This is not far-fetched. Furniture stores are legitimate mazes anyway - you can never seem to find your way out of the entertainment section when all you wanted to see was if there was a game playing on the big screen. There's not, it's a giant, lying sticker taped to the front of the screen. It is also socially unacceptable for a so called "grown person" to jump over the furniture, even when they have somehow lobster trapped you in the back of the store.)

Well in this giant maze you look for whatever you want - sofa, love seat, loft. This all sounds a little crappy for the potential buyer, but in this bona fide maze you get to run away from salespeople as much as you want. So, in the end, you maybe find what you want and the sales person gets a little exercise, until you find the exit. So, I guess its the same. Just a little more exercise?

If there had been anything worth watching between these commercials, I wouldn't have written all of this. So I blame cable.

(I think that recently buying a loveseat might also have something to do with it. Where did I buy it? Craigslist.)