:D

christinewerner.com is live!

FTP update

I tried Internet Explorer's FTP tool, and came up with a blank. I loaded everything according to several tutorials. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to idendtify the home page as the home page. I suppose I'll ask some questions tomorrow when I turn the project in, and go from there. Certainly there are some more tutorials out there and certainly I'm managing to do something completely stupid.

FTP experiments

I have decided that it is at least moderately acceptable for my website to go live and have decided to upload it to the internet. I am using Internet Explorer's FTP and hoping that it works. I'm not really sure how its working, but it seemed pretty easy from what a tutorial said, and its uploading right now. Wish me luck; update later.

More Gallery Work

Well in the end I did link all of the galleries to the same .js and .css pages and while that did present several problems in the first page I linked, I believe that these are caching problems, probably with my browser. These problems were mostly with the sizing of the large display images, not with thumbnails, where the images expand to the full size of the browser window. This was sporadic and several images came back to their regular size after I shut everything down and reopened it.

All of the other galleries seem to be working using this method, with the exception of the first one, which still has problems with enlarging (thus pixelating) images, but even these work on alternate browsers, so my worry is lessened.

I still have one final problem with the opened images, on which ther is a ~2px grey edge on the right and left sides of the image. These are also present on an alternate browser, but beggars can't be choosers and I think fixing it would require using a different Java generating site: I did check the CSS page for the offending coding, found none.

All in all, the pages are up and running, now the site requires some design aesthetic and some actual content on the bio pages... on my way to christinewerner.com-beta

Highslide blues

I've managed to get all of my gallery pages up and mostly working on my site. I just have a couple of bugs to work out, which I may never work out, because they're just too small.

I'm using a prewritten Highslide Java gallery and their site setup is very easy to navigate and use to setup your gallery. I did this, uploaded my images, set them up according to Highslide's available options and moved onto putting the corresponding code into my source documents. For the first gallery this was simple (I have several), copy and paste some html into your source document and download the .js and .css pages that were created according to options chosen. Poof! Gallery page. (Well, not really poof, but I'll come to that later.)

However, this setup presents a problem if you have more than one gallery page needed for your site; the downloaded Java and CSS pages are all contained in one folder: Highslide. So, if you do need more than one gallery, seting up and downloading your gallery through their site is impossible because if everything went perfectly, you would have two folders called Highslide in the same root folder for your website and that, we all know, is just not possible.

Why not change the folder name and all corresponding calls in the coding? Well, my intelligent reader, this is exactly what I tried. And exactly what I failed. Things just didn't work. Surely, I missed some call or some CSS of mine was overriding, but looking for the missed call in 10 documents was not an efficient way of doing things for someone who needs, in the end, 9 different gallery pages, with the option to add more at will.

So, I got a little smarter and decided that if all my gallers were supposed to look the same anyway, why not just link all of my galleries to the same .js and .css , copy and paste the html code into my other galleries' source pages and change the image calls to correspond? Well, I saw no reason and did just that.

To be continued...

Richmond Naïveté

I have been recently informed that I am a Richmond moron, and that I have very little actual knowledge of our dirty little city. So, I am making it a new, albiet small, goal to see a bit more of RVA restuarants, places of intrest, ect.

Site Update

I've been trying to install the gallery pages and have run into some problems with the site I am using to write my Java Script. Some of the thumbnails don't work, and when actually implemented, some thumbnails don't work but the large images do. I've moved one of the images to RGB mode, which fixed one of the thumbnails in the example, but not the large image. The image changed over did work when implemented in the site.

There also seems to be some difficulty in copy and pasting from the website Highslide.com While able to copy and paste html and download the zipped Javascript files the first gallery I put in, I cannot seem to even highlight the text to even try and paste it into my gallery page. I'm not sure at all what has to do with anything, but hopefully its just a but that I'm running into tonigh -- too many windows open or something.

These galleries are due tomorrow and hopefully I will be able to recieve some help in regards to these problems. These are not the worst things though, as I plan on rehashing the whole site anyways, in light of the way my galleries are going to be set up: not with CSS but Java - the page will not require such a set layout as the Java script will allow for a pop-up like window to arise within the visited page, and allows navigation of the gallery within that particular page.

Cheers

On Actual Work I DId (Or an alternative to "Tethered" photography)

Introducing an alternative to "tethered" shooting, with tethered shooting being shooting your photos straight to your computer. I was looking for some simple software for shooting tethered and found alot of things to pay for and some shady things to download.

Keep in mind that my aim here was to be able to see myself while shooting self-refrence pictures(models cost money), not to actually have pictures saved on my computer as soon as I took them.

My Nikon D-90 came with an A/V cord, I have a TV and so, I had a good time. This, combined with a remote shutter release, was a fine solution.

Note: the TV just expands what is viewed on the camera's LCD screen, so a shitty TV just makes a shitter expanded picture, so this is really only a good solution for general composition. It also limits the placement of the camera relative to the TV set. Finally, to shoot onto the TV screen, LiveView has to be on. With the D-90 LiveView takes alot out of the battery and runs the risk of overheating the camera (the D-90 will turn of LiveView before this happens), so that's just something to keep in mind.

My Physics class

I'm not in a physics class, and I got a 2 on the AP in high school. Earlier this week, however, I was reminded of those early lessons.

The scene: kitchen, 15 minutes before class
The characters: my roommates, me
The costume: unimportant but for a pair of wonderful little sneakers with felt for soles

My vertically challenged roommate had stepped in front of me and I wanted to know if I could kick my leg above her head. Following scientific methods, I conducted an experiment. I kicked my leg up as high as I could. My leg reached to a point just above her head - and continued on up. Now, as objects in motion tend to stay in motion unless they're acted on by another force, I expected the friction of my grounded foot to arrest my airborne foot 's upward development. However, as stated earlier, my foot did not stop its motion. My foot was apparently so exited about flying high that it decided to pull the other foot with it.

I should inform the reader that I do not have extra limbs or a pillow covered kitchen floor. So, when gravity finally won out over upward pulling inertia, I landed straight on my ass. The whole thing was quite quintessentially clutzy, and I was a little late for class.

Thanks science. And also thank science, non facetiously for making my legs short enought to survive the fall.

Dear Library

There's no internet in the apartment again, so I'm on a midnight library run.
I'll probably be here again in 7 hours to sign up for classes; see you soon book-box.

And thanks, shitty ISP.

Poor Prince of the Land

I went over my developed sketches with the professor today in class. He kept calling the prince a "she".

I have never needed a reminder on my lack of understanding the human figure. There was no change today.

Conned!

Going back to the city from fall break was looking to be a dreary task, and my ipod (damn me for supporting them!) was dead and charging. So something needed to be done to kill time. Dinner was out of the question as it was far to early for my traditional-dinner-dad to eat. I was actually hungry, but that was neither there nor anywhere else.

I suggested ice cream; little sounded better right then than a little hot fudge sundae. I was thinking Sonic; it was close and rather inexpensive. I suggested this fat packed plan to my father, who would have had it no other way than to make the trip to ...Coldstone. Not wanting to argue and really, just wanting some free ice cream, I assented.

At coldstone, I realized what a silly dream the hot fudge sundae had been - just think of all of those brownie and carmel filled options! I was even willing to spend time mulling through the pricey possibilities to find the perfect concoction.

Alas, the line was nil and my father had not heard my mental exclamation of delight at all of the different flavors. He asked straightaway for a sundae and the gentleman behind the counter was confused.

I sighed, giving up, and declared that all I wanted was a hot fudge sundae. The gentleman shrugged and said he could put hot fudge over vanilla creme ice cream. I mentally rolled my eyes (I'm not entirely sure about the mental part) and said yes, that would be fine. My father ordered the same thing (except with black cherry ice cream - a desire that is most decidedly not burned into the genetic line) and we went to pay.

I was handed my hot fudge sundae, I looked and, while putting the black plastic spoon into the lard mountain and delivering it to my face, I forgot all desire to have some fancy schmancy ice cream. For that moment I delighted in the wonder that is Hot fudge and Ice cream.

It was to be the last; paid in full, we walked to the table and I grew melancholy as I realized that the fudge was congealing around my ice cream -- it was hardening hot fudge! I debated as to if I should tell my father. Eventually (2 seconds later) I gave in to my disappointment and let him know.

We devoured our ice cream in silence.

Epilogue:

While driving away, I made my remarks about the fudge again, "That first bite was awesome, but then the fudge started to harden," and then recalling my actual experience with the ice cream added, "But after that [the fudge] was basically a brownie, so who gives a s***?"
And so it was.

Solution? Turkey Leg and Beer

Problem: Sometimes people suck alot.

Directions:

1. Turkey Leg and Beer
2. Repeat as needed
3. Unless you're driving:
4. (Part of the problem in the first place.)
5. (Sorry.)

Adventures in Maymont

or A One in Three Success Rate of Insect Collection

As it was apparently the last beautiful day of the season, several friends and I ventured to Maymont park. This was to be a relaxing walk, filled with a petting zoo and Koi fish. So it was -- but the real highlight of the day involved our group dealings in entomology. One of our group members, A-----, is taking a class in insect study and has a running assignment of collecting insects of different Orders and Species and other Scientific Mumbo Jumbo.

Bug #1

As we walked another group member, J------, said she saw a bug and asked A----- if she wants it. The rest of us insisted that it was a berry, but lo and behold, it was really an insect, and an unusual find for our state at that.

The Problem:

How do we store this little critter? No one has a bag and A----- beats herself up for not being prepared. A third group member, L----, does have a ziplock bag of chips and we quickly consume them in order to store the unusual (I called it Rare to make the discovery sound even better) Velvet Ant (which is not really an ant but a flightless wasp, thank you A-----). The critter is stored in my purse. But could it survive the journey?...

Bug #2

At the petting zoo, a bug landed on A------'s shirt and she got really exited and picked it up and said, "Hey it's a such-and-such, I needed this!" and we were again stuck with the problem of finding a bag for this little guy.

The Problem:
No bag. Would we find one?...

Bug #3

A grasshopper bounced away from us nearing the end of our journey and as A---- declared that they were too hard to catch and she could always get another one, I caught that effing grasshopper and held it up to the group as proudly as any four year old has ever done. We transferred it from my adept hands, to A-----, to L----'s purse's zipper pocket.

The Problem:
As A---- later inspected her well-caught and efficiently-transferred grasshopper, she noticed that one of its hind legs was missing. L---- commented that that was why I was able to catch the little bastard and I came as near to ripping her hair out as any four year old would - it took all I had not to even stick my tongue out. The fact remained that the grasshopper only had one leg. Would that matter for insect collecting?...

Answers.
Bug#3: Yep. A shitty specimen calls for a shitty grade; we let him go.

Bug#2: It didn't matter that we couldn't find a bag, because he jumped out of A-----'s hand, never to be seen by the likes of us again.

Bug#1: So it could. The little bastard was pretty hardy, spending all day in a plastic bag in my purse, though he did make some odd noises. I am told, however, that this his normal for his Rare species.

All in all a very successful venture, considering that we had no etymological goals.

Tonight at 9 the new episode of

Because I do not want to prove my roommates correct, and because my fanaticism is slightly embarassing, I will not be discussing tonight's episode of The Office. If it happens to leak into this serious, academic and all around important blog, I apologize and beg forgiveness.

Events of the day, completely non-related this evening's 9pm event:

My roommate locked herself out of our apartment. In addition to her keys, also left inside the apartment - meaning not on her person - was her cell phone. She borrowed a phone, called her mother, and let nature take its course. I believe her mother, as any good mother would do, called every number in her aresenal. I cannot prove this for a fact, but as she called my phone (which went straight to voicemail due to the lead box that is the Life Sciences building) and left a message, and also phoned my father at his work place and left a message for him, who, in turn called my phone - and you know the story there. That's the best part of the story. The end is I came home then decided that Chipotle was better than waiting around for my roommate and

But on The Office Andy ripped his scrotum and Dwight slept with Pam's best friend and Jim spilled the beans on Pam being preggers and Michael slept with Pam's mom and Jim and Pam really got married on the boat at Niagra falls but no one knew it and in the beginning of the episode Pam was vomiting all over the place because Dwight was being an ass and eating an egg like she had asked him not to and then everyone else was vomiting because they saw her vomiting and Jim was sweet and cut off his tie so that Pam wouldn't feel so bad about ripping her veil and Kevin's shoes got thrown away because they were too smelly for the shoe shiner to even be near and it was all really stupid sweet but still funny and Pam had a fake little baby bump and Jim's brothers are still assholes and

Sorry.

Gift Giving / Keeping

My mother had a birthday last weekend and for the sake of protecting her pride I will not reveal which birthday this was.

Several days before the event (on Sunday, which was destined to be a beautiful early fall day, complete with slight breeze and surprise funeral) I was walking the streets of my beloved dirty little city and walked by a flower vendor. He had advertised flowers for sale at 2 dollars and up. I dismissed the thought before I even had it because I knew for a fact that there was only one dollar bill in my bag.

However, on my return trip home, I rummaged through my tiny purse and found that while there was only one single dollar bill, there were quarters aplenty*. I smiled and, upon reaching the vendor, purchased a not-quite-perfect pink rose for my mother's birthday.

*aplenty = here, referring to more than a dollar and fifty cents because this will more than pay for any parking meter or will wash one very expensive load of laundry note. a copious amount of quarters would have purchased any of the vendor's flowers on their own or washed and dried that same load of laundry

This was Friday afternoon and the events that followed the purchase are not relevant to this story. So much is to say that when I returned to my parents' house on Saturday afternoon, I cried to an empty house, "Damn!" as I had left my mother's not-quite-perfect pink rose in my refrigerator in the city.

Epilogue:
I purchased my mother a fifteen dollar bouquet of kind-of-shitty fall colored mums and assorted things from the local food lion. (I apparently could not recall that there was a legitimate florist three minutes down the road.) She enjoyed them and all was well in the home on Sunday except for a rather tragic surprise funeral. It's tragedy was the death, the manner of the death, and it's date of my mother's birthday.

Afterword:
I only regurgitate this story because as I avoid writing a lab paper on glycolysis, I am staring at a lovely pink rose which perked up well after being in the cold for 3 days without water and I am not terribly horribly sorry that I left it here. I'll never pass up on a little cheer nearing midnight.

He's got claws and goes "Rawr!"

Running on a treadmill is a tedious task. Now, I'm aware that many people find exercise relaxing, however, I personally find that raising your heart rate and getting all of your muscles going is pretty much the antithesis of relaxation.

I digress - exercise is necessary and beneficial and you always sleep well afterwards, but actually running on a treadmill is, again, tedious.

There are several ways to solve this. Music, for one, has become most runners' constant companion and it is a qualified distraction from running. Running outside is also an option, or with a friend (though if you're running with me, the conversation will be one-sided as a third of the way through my full attention will have to be focused on breathing and all around staying alive).

However, today, while on the treadmill, during my supposedly bi /tri-weekly run I came up with something a little more fun. Let me set this up for you: I can either look down at the little dot going around a little quarter-mile track on the treadmill screen or look straight ahead, where four feet in front of my face is the most prosaic, washed out yellow brick wall that I have ever stared at for a half hour. So, the decision that neither one of these is a good impetus for me to run was an easy one. What makes for a good impetus to run, you ask? Well, simply? Something chasing you.

Monsters, to be exact. Hire monsters to chase people and we'll all be real fit, relatively fast (depending on what setting you set the monster to - lumber, trot, stomp-run, or maul speed).

If this isn't actually feasible or healthy, I'd settle for a little monster chasing my little dot around the quarter-mile track on the treadmill screen.

Like an Early Thanksgiving

Dear Richmond,

I have a number of things to thank you for. The very first time I visited your streets, you stole a bumper magnet off of a grandmother's car. This has taught me not to value material things - and not to take them with me.
Thank you.
Through the years, I have tripped countless times on your sidewalks. This has taught me humility - and to laugh especially hard when others fall.
Thank you.
Your weather has caught me unawares in heat and rain and snow. This has taught me versatility - and to curse loudly in front of children.
Thank you.
Walking your streets, I've very nearly been killed. This has taught me the fleetingness of life - and how to successfully jaywalk.
Thank you.
I have also driven on your streets. This has taught me to pay attention to my surroundings - and that I must kill or be killed. Thank you.
And finally Richmond, I have been caught in your blackouts. These have taught me to enjoy a breath of fresh air - and to remember my stupid ID if I'm going to the library after 10pm. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sincerely yours,
X

Factsheet for 09.06.09

Morning time is no time to be cheerful.

If a car window is left open and then it rains, the car seat will be wet.

Sometimes, parents give up and

• swear.


• call their youngest child a dumb ape.


• confess this to the oldest child, who congratulates them on acceptance.

There is an employee in Best Buy who is proud to announce to customers that all scanners are "pretty much the same".

There is an employee in Best Buy who is lucky he didn't get "ripped a new one".

A cashier at Borders doesn't understand that 40% off of $19.98 is a better price than $19.97 .

The 2008 Physicians Desk Reference is very heavy, and on sale at Borders for $19.98 .

If Mexican Bean Beetles no longer have beans to eat, they will make do with eating, laying eggs on and having all of their friends over to the neighboring herb garden.

Even if you hope really, really hard, Kirsten Dunst will still say, "Go get 'em tiger," at the end of Spiderman 2.

Most Important:

If you leave the top open on a hot tub, an 9 month old black kitten can fall in.

Campus Celebs

For the past two years, I have regularly seen Samuel Clemens (aka Mark Twain, aka VCU history professor?) walking around campus. Wearing his bushy white moustache and equally Twain-esque white rumpled hair, his coif is slightly obscured by his 19th century hat. He also sports a matching beige trench coat, which is apparently an essential part of his person, because I have never witnessed Mr. Clemens without it. He frequents Franklin Street, has attended free concerts in Monroe Park and brings a crooked smile to passing by students everywhere (except perhaps the English majors, who might harbor a longstanding grudge against literary creators - also those who ask if, after they graduate, are they are going to teach?).

This, however, is all old news. No, the most groundbreaking sighting was last week when Jeff Goldblum walked out of the old Business building. I'm sure he is often stared at, and I did not spare him from my unabashed gawking.

My dream for this coming semester is learning what Mr. Goldblum and Mr. Clemens would discuss if they found themselves trapped in an elevator together. This may be a challenge to set up.

Ceiling People

There is a door in my ceiling, and it is well hidden. While I am sleeping, the people who live in the room upstairs (or between my room and the room upstairs) open the door and come into my room. They are small people; they just look like someone took a shrinking gun to an average human. They're not over three feet high, and so, are able to walk upside down on the ceiling. This is good for them because if they could not do this, they would fall down 12 feet to my floor. They walk upside down on the ceiling and then sideways on the wall and then right side up on the floor. It's night time but this is not a problem because the street lights pour copious amounts of light into the room. The ceiling people use this light to play bridge on the decorative rug centered on the floor. After they are bored they toss and turn until they fall asleep comfortably on my new, old loveseat.

This is why when, in my conscious hours, the loveseat cushions are always slightly pulled out. I push them back in and go to class.

Furniture Overhauls

While watching the N-th discount furniture store commercial of my lifetime, I realized that I hate furniture shopping. That's a lie, I didn't realize anything; it's something everyone intrinsically knows. At birth. The sales guy is always ready to jump up your butt if you even bat an eyelash at a sofa or make a sarcastic comment about how much you love that pattern when really one of those "artworks" made by the guy who gives himself paint enemas would make better upholstery. All beside the point.

What should happen:

All of the furniture is setup in a giant warehouse. The entrance door locks behind you. All of the furniture is stacked 5 units high on some sort of massively industrial shelving unit (so that you can't jump over them). Well, the moral of the story here is that the whole thing is a giant maze .

(This is not far-fetched. Furniture stores are legitimate mazes anyway - you can never seem to find your way out of the entertainment section when all you wanted to see was if there was a game playing on the big screen. There's not, it's a giant, lying sticker taped to the front of the screen. It is also socially unacceptable for a so called "grown person" to jump over the furniture, even when they have somehow lobster trapped you in the back of the store.)

Well in this giant maze you look for whatever you want - sofa, love seat, loft. This all sounds a little crappy for the potential buyer, but in this bona fide maze you get to run away from salespeople as much as you want. So, in the end, you maybe find what you want and the sales person gets a little exercise, until you find the exit. So, I guess its the same. Just a little more exercise?

If there had been anything worth watching between these commercials, I wouldn't have written all of this. So I blame cable.

(I think that recently buying a loveseat might also have something to do with it. Where did I buy it? Craigslist.)